Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Heart's Desire

So, I know I haven't kept up with this writing stuff lately, but that's actually a really good thing.

You see, God changed my life.... Again.

Have you ever noticed that there's a lot in the Bible about God giving us what we want?  I'm not joking!

John says whatsoever we ask in His name, that will He do.
Ye have not because ye ask not.
Delight thy self in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.

Well, I don't know about you, but I ask.. a lot.... I'm still waiting on that new cherry red, convertable, Ford Mustang....

And really, who hasn't done that? If God gave us what we want, we would win the lottery once a year or so, have a perfect boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife/best friend, and get to be president to boot!

So what gives?  Or what doesn't give?

So I want you to think about when you were first saved. At that time, what would you have given anything to do/have.  I was saved when I was eight. All I wanted to do was be a ballerina. If you were saved at a young age, you likely had a similar desire. A firefighter, gymnast, Lego artist....

Something I've come to realize is that God doesn't necessarily give us what we want, He gives us the wants to want.

Say what?

God changes our heart's desires. Now, you might just call that growing up, but let me show you how God made this change in my life.

After I got saved, I decided to surrender my life to God at a summer camp (honestly, that was a confusing decision to make when I was that young, as I really had no idea what that even meant). By the time I was 12, I had picked up the violin and changed my heart's desire to be simply the world's greatest concert violinist. Fast forward 4 years, and the concert violinist desire had morphed into just teaching violin. I turned 18 and graduated from high school, got myself a boyfriend, and had my first taste of real freedom by spending half of a summer.....  working at the camp where I had made the decision to follow God. 

And here is where I see the most dramatic difference. In less then 5 years, my heart's desire completely changed. I learned, through serving in camp ministry, what Psalm 37:4 meant:

 Delight thyself also in the Lord: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.
~Psalm 37:4~

When your life becomes completely and totally about God, you realize that nothing is more important then Him. If you learn this lesson before you go through college and beginning a career, you will save yourself so much time and stress. My God is near!  He is able to be found when we have sought Him! 

A year and a half ago, I began to seriously pray about going into full-time camp ministry. I didn't know where exactly in the camp ministry I wanted to serve (the resident preacher didn't seem to fit :) ), but camp had become where my heart was at.  Over the next year, I spent a lot of time praying about where God would have me and talking to friends who were involved in camp ministry. God gave me a fantastic job which allowed me to continue in college throughout the past two semesters, even if it was only part time. 

For a long time, I had wanted beyond so many things, to be able to attend Bob Jones University as a full time student, but had always joked that I would need to win the lottery to be able to do it.  I never really thought it would happen.

This past summer, after I had finally placed my silly desire for violin mastery in God's Hands in exchange for the better desire for camp ministry, I began to pray about BJU again. I don't really need to have a degree in order to be able to work at a camp full time, but I do believe that if we have the opportunity to gain more tools, we ought to take it. I crunched the numbers and I was about $2,000 short for one semester. Enh, so what. I'm gonna apply. I get home from working at camp, and I have 6 weeks until my sister's wedding. AAHHH!!!! So, I plan a bridal shower and all the other fun stuff that's involved with being Maid of Honor, and frantically look for a job.

Nothing, absolutely nothing. Ok, maybe God doesn't want me at BJU. No problem. I wanted to go, but hadn't really been counting on it. 

As a fluke, my mom hears of an interview with a Christmas card company a few weeks before the wedding. Well, I walk in, with way less experience then I needed, and get a customer service job...  that started two weeks after the wedding and offers as much overtime as I could possibly ask for.

The reason I haven't been writing?  Well, as a result of God changing my life, I spent pretty much the past 6 weeks working up to 80 hours a week....

And I'm going to college.

Had God allowed me to have the money I wanted to go to college when I wanted it at 18, I would be done, or almost done with a degree in violin pedagogy and I would have never gone back to work at that camp for the past two summers.

My delight is in the Lord. I will magnify Him with my life, for He alone deserves the glory, honor, and praise for the great things He has done! 

Because of Him,

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