I wasn't planning on a theme, but faith comes up once again in my personal devotions and thoughts. In 2 Corinthians 5:7 we have at least one iteration of the phrase "we walk by faith and not by sight." Our eternal existence is based entirely on faith that what we read in a Book written 2000 years ago is true. The way we act displays (or it should) our eternal destination. To put it another way, if this life isn't all there is, then Christians use their time on earth in a different way than unbelievers.
So, assuming the above is true, and everyone reading this is a Christian.... why don't we act like it? No, I am not talking about manners or mannerisms. I am talking about living a life that acts like the God in the Bible is real. He has given so many promises! Matthew 6 talks about how He knows you need food and clothing, and He will take care of you! Deuteronomy 31 says that God will never leave us. This is in the context of fighting a battle! If God is on your side in any battle, you know the outcome. The same concept of His presence is also in Hebrews 13:5. This promise is to reassure us as His children, and to turn our eyes away from lusting and coveting.
Earlier in Hebrews, God gives us a list of people who lived by faith. They acted out and spoke about what they knew to be true about God. And what they did was pretty crazy. Noah built an ark for 100 years, and no one outside his family believed him enough to even get on the boat just in case. Abraham left the protection of his family clan to travel to a place that he didn't know. And God didn't tell him where he was going, He just told him to walk. Imagine trying to explain that to your relatives.
But God knew what He was doing. He had a plan that was bigger than what made sense. He wanted to redeem all of mankind.
I'm not saying that we shouldn't plan for the future (you can look at Proverbs if you want verses on that), but I would like to say that maybe it's not our future to plan. You can go to school and learn a lot, and end up working for McDonalds the rest of your life because you can't find another job. You can work hard and move up to the top of the corporate ladder, if you want to.
Maybe instead of looking at what makes the most sense financially, it's time to look at what God wants you to do. Work hard, but only as unto God (Colossians 3:22 ff). Decide how to spend your time and resources by faith. Yeah, I mean that we should be praying about everything. And we need to follow Him on whatever path He directs us whenever He directs us.
I've heard some stories about people who were called to be missionaries, and then they never made it for one reason or another, and disaster struck their family. I know that God does chasten His children to get us to where we need to be, but I don't think that happens in every situation. I think we can decide to not follow God's leading, but we will miss out on a reward that is eternal in heaven. Maybe that means that our 401k is not as big as our financial adviser would like it to be. Maybe we don't ever get to have a new car or a big home. This world is not all there is.
Has God asked you to walk?
Because of Him,
Missa
Tuesday, February 9, 2016
Sunday, February 7, 2016
Pray in Faith
Maybe you've seen the movie War Room, maybe every message you've heard lately has reminded you to pray, maybe the state of the country has you turning to God with more questions than He seems to be answering right now. I don't know. For me, though, I have been reminded to pray nearly every day for the past six weeks. Would you believe I still forget all the time?
The reason I forget is because I have requests on my list that are still unanswered. Requests I have been praying about for 4-5 years. I know I'm young, and that might not seem like a lot of time to some of the women who read this, but some of these requests deal with situations that affect me all day every day.
The reason I forget is because I can always find something else that needs to be done now, and I'll make sure to have my quiet time later. I need to make dinner so that it will be ready when my roommate gets back. I need to do laundry because I've been putting it off for too long. I need to spend time with my boyfriend since we've been long distance for a year and a half, and now we are finally living in the same state again.
The reason I forget is because my schedule has been too crazy since I finished school, moved across the country, and started a new job. I haven't even been able to figure out a way to make sure I text everyone I want to stay in touch with on a regular basis.
The reason I forget is because I forget how weak I am. My life doesn't work without God.
I have seen God answer prayer before. Once, when I was 13 or 14, I wanted to go to camp so badly. My parents had sent us when we were in 6th grade to Jr camp and that was all that we could expect. We didn't spend a lot of time away from home without them. I remember asking God to please let me go to camp and provide the money somehow. I had enough to pay for half, and the babysitting business had been slow. I never told my parents about that prayer. I never told anyone. The night before we had to sign up for camp, my mom told me, out of the blue, that they would be willing to pay for half, if I wanted to go to camp that year. That's what God does for a kid!
Three and a half years ago, I wanted to go to college, and I had been asking God for some way to be able to go. He provided a job that allowed me to be able to go.
Last year, I was struggling to get enough to pay my school bill by just working on campus, so I applied for a job off campus. After three tries to get to the interview (we had some beautiful snow days!) I was offered the position at twice what I had been making at BJU. But I didn't have a car, and I knew my friends couldn't drive me to work all the time. I had $1000 and 2 days. God provided a car off of craigslist that actually ran, had low mileage, and still has not needed a major repair.
This past month, I had a roommate set up, but I didn't have a job. God provided a job within 36 hours of arriving in town. With enough to pay my bills and have left overs for fun extra stuff too. And they'll pay for me to get my master's degree. Still thinking about that one ;)
Why don't I pray? Because I forget. God not only provides for me as His beloved child, but He always listens to me. He is the reason I have life! He is the reason I have a purpose. I'm not saying that everything I've ever wanted I got... But everything I have ever needed, I have.
Yes, I sometimes wonder how God will answer those old requests of mine, but I pray in faith knowing that His timing is best, His plan is perfect, and He loves me more than anyone else possibly could.
Because of Him,
Missa
The reason I forget is because I have requests on my list that are still unanswered. Requests I have been praying about for 4-5 years. I know I'm young, and that might not seem like a lot of time to some of the women who read this, but some of these requests deal with situations that affect me all day every day.
The reason I forget is because I can always find something else that needs to be done now, and I'll make sure to have my quiet time later. I need to make dinner so that it will be ready when my roommate gets back. I need to do laundry because I've been putting it off for too long. I need to spend time with my boyfriend since we've been long distance for a year and a half, and now we are finally living in the same state again.
The reason I forget is because my schedule has been too crazy since I finished school, moved across the country, and started a new job. I haven't even been able to figure out a way to make sure I text everyone I want to stay in touch with on a regular basis.
The reason I forget is because I forget how weak I am. My life doesn't work without God.
I have seen God answer prayer before. Once, when I was 13 or 14, I wanted to go to camp so badly. My parents had sent us when we were in 6th grade to Jr camp and that was all that we could expect. We didn't spend a lot of time away from home without them. I remember asking God to please let me go to camp and provide the money somehow. I had enough to pay for half, and the babysitting business had been slow. I never told my parents about that prayer. I never told anyone. The night before we had to sign up for camp, my mom told me, out of the blue, that they would be willing to pay for half, if I wanted to go to camp that year. That's what God does for a kid!
Three and a half years ago, I wanted to go to college, and I had been asking God for some way to be able to go. He provided a job that allowed me to be able to go.
Last year, I was struggling to get enough to pay my school bill by just working on campus, so I applied for a job off campus. After three tries to get to the interview (we had some beautiful snow days!) I was offered the position at twice what I had been making at BJU. But I didn't have a car, and I knew my friends couldn't drive me to work all the time. I had $1000 and 2 days. God provided a car off of craigslist that actually ran, had low mileage, and still has not needed a major repair.
This past month, I had a roommate set up, but I didn't have a job. God provided a job within 36 hours of arriving in town. With enough to pay my bills and have left overs for fun extra stuff too. And they'll pay for me to get my master's degree. Still thinking about that one ;)
Why don't I pray? Because I forget. God not only provides for me as His beloved child, but He always listens to me. He is the reason I have life! He is the reason I have a purpose. I'm not saying that everything I've ever wanted I got... But everything I have ever needed, I have.
Yes, I sometimes wonder how God will answer those old requests of mine, but I pray in faith knowing that His timing is best, His plan is perfect, and He loves me more than anyone else possibly could.
Because of Him,
Missa
Friday, December 11, 2015
Content to not know
I've spent a lot of time lately hearing about contentment. And a lot about change. I am graduating in 6 days from BJU. I feel like Rapunzel in Tangled:
Rapunzel: I've been looking out of a window for eighteen years, dreaming about what I might feel like when those lights rise in the sky. What if it's not everything I dreamed it would be?
Flynn Rider: It will be.
Rapunzel: And what if it is? What do I do then?
Flynn Rider: Well,that's the good part I guess. You get to go find a new dream.
Yeah, going to college was my dream. I waited 3.5 years after highschool to go, and the whole time I never knew if I was going to be able to finish it. Most of those closest to me didn't expect me to go, they certainly never expected me to finish. And I'm the first to admit that I doubted often whether or not it was God's will for me to be here.
But now, I know that it is not His will for me to be here anymore - for now at least.
Back to my original point, God has being teaching me about being content in change. There are a lot things about my life that are unknowns. How will I afford my apartment, when I don't have a job yet? How will my relationships with others change? I don't want to be the person who gets a degree and then wastes it by never putting it to use.
As much as I want the security of knowing what is going to happen next, I know one thing for sure. I am secure in the will of God. And He has not shown me the future yet. I've been asked a couple of times 'what's next?' and I don't have an answer. I have a boyfriend, but I'm not engaged like a lot of the other girls graduating, so I'm not planning a wedding. Too many things are moving around for me to know any where close to where I'm planning to be in 5 years.
So, what do I know?
My head screams that that is not an answer! But it's what my God has chosen to reveal to me. He has shown me what He requires of me: to serve Him with all of my heart in the moment He calls me to live.
When I look back at what He has taught me, He has always provided perfectly for my needs. He has continued to grow me, and turn my heart ever more towards Him (though I often forget the lessons I've learned and need a refresher). He has placed people in my life that have had a huge impact on me. And He allowed me to be used by Him in other's lives. I don't need to be afraid of wasting my degree, because I know that the One Who gave it to me has the prerogative to chose what happens. I know that He has changed me forever because of my time here.
Guess it's time to find a new dream. In the meantime, I'm content with the change.
Because of Him,
Missa
Rapunzel: I've been looking out of a window for eighteen years, dreaming about what I might feel like when those lights rise in the sky. What if it's not everything I dreamed it would be?
Flynn Rider: It will be.
Rapunzel: And what if it is? What do I do then?
Flynn Rider: Well,that's the good part I guess. You get to go find a new dream.
Yeah, going to college was my dream. I waited 3.5 years after highschool to go, and the whole time I never knew if I was going to be able to finish it. Most of those closest to me didn't expect me to go, they certainly never expected me to finish. And I'm the first to admit that I doubted often whether or not it was God's will for me to be here.
But now, I know that it is not His will for me to be here anymore - for now at least.
Back to my original point, God has being teaching me about being content in change. There are a lot things about my life that are unknowns. How will I afford my apartment, when I don't have a job yet? How will my relationships with others change? I don't want to be the person who gets a degree and then wastes it by never putting it to use.
As much as I want the security of knowing what is going to happen next, I know one thing for sure. I am secure in the will of God. And He has not shown me the future yet. I've been asked a couple of times 'what's next?' and I don't have an answer. I have a boyfriend, but I'm not engaged like a lot of the other girls graduating, so I'm not planning a wedding. Too many things are moving around for me to know any where close to where I'm planning to be in 5 years.
So, what do I know?
Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
My head screams that that is not an answer! But it's what my God has chosen to reveal to me. He has shown me what He requires of me: to serve Him with all of my heart in the moment He calls me to live.
When I look back at what He has taught me, He has always provided perfectly for my needs. He has continued to grow me, and turn my heart ever more towards Him (though I often forget the lessons I've learned and need a refresher). He has placed people in my life that have had a huge impact on me. And He allowed me to be used by Him in other's lives. I don't need to be afraid of wasting my degree, because I know that the One Who gave it to me has the prerogative to chose what happens. I know that He has changed me forever because of my time here.
Guess it's time to find a new dream. In the meantime, I'm content with the change.
Because of Him,
Missa
Sunday, August 23, 2015
Just a Puff
Sometimes, life just gets the best of you. If college is supposed to be the best time of my life, then I'm headed for destruction pretty fast.... I run to work, run to class, think about eating and go on a coffee run instead, run (or pretend to at least) to stay fit, and run to Christ every day during chapel.
Summer! Freedom! Lets add in 40+ hours of work, 8 credits of online classes, and training horses on the side (that only lasted as long as I didn't have to write papers for the online class). At least in summer I have enough time to enjoy my coffee while working on homework.
Next week, I will be starting my senior semester at BJU. I'm the weird person who transferred in January and will graduate in December. I can't believe it's here already. All my friends are here - friends who I would classify as more than family. I have a dear church who has continually shown the love and graciousness of Christ (we regularly practice the Baptist sacrament of consuming food).
Since my first week at BJU, I was required for a class to take notes on 50 sermons (which wasn't hard since we have chapel 4 days a week and 2 services on Sunday), so I would write next to the date in my notebook what number each sermon was. I decided to continue this practice even after I had completed the assignment. Tonight, I took notes for sermon #478. In the past 32 months, I have taken notes on all of those sermons (some, I forgot to bring my notebook, so the actual number is a lot higher). I have learned that my God walks on the storms of life, been encouraged to run the race and walk in the Spirit. I know that my life only makes sense when explained by faith and that God desires a life broken and spilled out for Him.
And while I'm huffing and puffing through my college days, I'm reminded that life is just a puff.
Tonight, life has slowed down - a calm before the storm of classes and homework. I drove home tonight after church and all around me I saw clouds. Big puffy storm clouds that just haven't released their burdens on the world. One of the clouds, at just the right angle, looked just like the Sphinx. Yeah, I still imagine pictures in the clouds - don't judge. 15 minutes later, I couldn't really see the cloud from my angle, and it probably changed anyway.
But think about the real Sphinx for a moment. What is it really, but a tribute to another human's puff of a life. Yeah, we have the real limestone statue, but who built it again? According to the all-knowing Google, the best guess is Pharaoh Khafra, but that is only a guess. They don't know for sure. Whoever it was, their life is gone.
One thing I know, however short or long my life may be, it's not likely to linger much longer than that cloud did tonight. Someday, all the burdens will be dropped, all the running will stop. Will I make a greater impact on this world than a pharaoh did with stone?
We have one chance to make this puff worth something. All of those sermons, all of my classes, all of the time spent studying the God of the universe will make a difference. Only He can change the world in a puff. We can simply choose to be part of His plan.
Because of Him,
Missa
Summer! Freedom! Lets add in 40+ hours of work, 8 credits of online classes, and training horses on the side (that only lasted as long as I didn't have to write papers for the online class). At least in summer I have enough time to enjoy my coffee while working on homework.
Next week, I will be starting my senior semester at BJU. I'm the weird person who transferred in January and will graduate in December. I can't believe it's here already. All my friends are here - friends who I would classify as more than family. I have a dear church who has continually shown the love and graciousness of Christ (we regularly practice the Baptist sacrament of consuming food).
Since my first week at BJU, I was required for a class to take notes on 50 sermons (which wasn't hard since we have chapel 4 days a week and 2 services on Sunday), so I would write next to the date in my notebook what number each sermon was. I decided to continue this practice even after I had completed the assignment. Tonight, I took notes for sermon #478. In the past 32 months, I have taken notes on all of those sermons (some, I forgot to bring my notebook, so the actual number is a lot higher). I have learned that my God walks on the storms of life, been encouraged to run the race and walk in the Spirit. I know that my life only makes sense when explained by faith and that God desires a life broken and spilled out for Him.
And while I'm huffing and puffing through my college days, I'm reminded that life is just a puff.
Tonight, life has slowed down - a calm before the storm of classes and homework. I drove home tonight after church and all around me I saw clouds. Big puffy storm clouds that just haven't released their burdens on the world. One of the clouds, at just the right angle, looked just like the Sphinx. Yeah, I still imagine pictures in the clouds - don't judge. 15 minutes later, I couldn't really see the cloud from my angle, and it probably changed anyway.
But think about the real Sphinx for a moment. What is it really, but a tribute to another human's puff of a life. Yeah, we have the real limestone statue, but who built it again? According to the all-knowing Google, the best guess is Pharaoh Khafra, but that is only a guess. They don't know for sure. Whoever it was, their life is gone.
One thing I know, however short or long my life may be, it's not likely to linger much longer than that cloud did tonight. Someday, all the burdens will be dropped, all the running will stop. Will I make a greater impact on this world than a pharaoh did with stone?
We have one chance to make this puff worth something. All of those sermons, all of my classes, all of the time spent studying the God of the universe will make a difference. Only He can change the world in a puff. We can simply choose to be part of His plan.
Because of Him,
Missa
Wednesday, October 8, 2014
It's 7:15 am and my coffee is already cold
Good morning! Doesn't that sound like a cheery message? But that really is how my life is going right now.
This past week I have been fairly sick... worse than I've been for a really long time. Basically for the last four days I've slept and emerged only enough to get food and go to chapel and required work meetings. My poor chapel buddies must think I have the plague. I've skipped classes and church. Today, I decided that I could not afford to be sick any longer. But that means that I had to get up with enough time to go to breakfast and make it to the student center by 7:15 to open. Luckily, my body decided that 4 am would be a great time to decide that I didn't need to breath, so I woke up to keep myself alive, and kinda just dozed for another two hours.
Why am I telling you this? Do I really just want sympathy or a hot cup of coffee? Not really.
Have you ever thought about how dependent on God we are? Sure, we've all heard the cliches that we're not guaranteed another breath, but does that really sink in? How about that God allowed you to wake up this morning? Our bodies are moving, breathing, functioning by the sustaining power of God.
This morning, I was nearly in tears trying to get going and unlocking all of the doors in the student center... I couldn't find sugar in the dining common, so I knew that my coffee was going to taste weird at best, why did I bother to toast my bagel when I knew that it would for sure be cold before I was done with all of my opening duties? Why did I have to be the one who was working insanely early hours after a late night?
Grumble, mumble, murmer.
Ladies and gentlemen, this morning, God gave me grace enough to wake up in time to make it to the dining common and get breakfast before I had to work. Last night, my roommate bought me creamer so that I could enjoy my coffee... cold or not. This morning, God gave me a quiet place to study Greek for the test I have this afternoon. Last night, I fell asleep and slept in a longer block than I have for four days. This morning, God allowed me to use the strength He gave me to work a job so that I can pay my school bill. Last night, one of my co-workers had an umbrella, so I didn't have to walk back from the meeting in the rain.
It's 8:45 am, my coffee is almost gone, and my God is still good beyond what I need. He doesn't have to sustain me, but He does. He doesn't have to send people into my life to just do nice things, but He does. He doesn't have to let me have coffee, but He does.
Because of Him,
Missa
This past week I have been fairly sick... worse than I've been for a really long time. Basically for the last four days I've slept and emerged only enough to get food and go to chapel and required work meetings. My poor chapel buddies must think I have the plague. I've skipped classes and church. Today, I decided that I could not afford to be sick any longer. But that means that I had to get up with enough time to go to breakfast and make it to the student center by 7:15 to open. Luckily, my body decided that 4 am would be a great time to decide that I didn't need to breath, so I woke up to keep myself alive, and kinda just dozed for another two hours.
Why am I telling you this? Do I really just want sympathy or a hot cup of coffee? Not really.
Have you ever thought about how dependent on God we are? Sure, we've all heard the cliches that we're not guaranteed another breath, but does that really sink in? How about that God allowed you to wake up this morning? Our bodies are moving, breathing, functioning by the sustaining power of God.
This morning, I was nearly in tears trying to get going and unlocking all of the doors in the student center... I couldn't find sugar in the dining common, so I knew that my coffee was going to taste weird at best, why did I bother to toast my bagel when I knew that it would for sure be cold before I was done with all of my opening duties? Why did I have to be the one who was working insanely early hours after a late night?
Grumble, mumble, murmer.
Ladies and gentlemen, this morning, God gave me grace enough to wake up in time to make it to the dining common and get breakfast before I had to work. Last night, my roommate bought me creamer so that I could enjoy my coffee... cold or not. This morning, God gave me a quiet place to study Greek for the test I have this afternoon. Last night, I fell asleep and slept in a longer block than I have for four days. This morning, God allowed me to use the strength He gave me to work a job so that I can pay my school bill. Last night, one of my co-workers had an umbrella, so I didn't have to walk back from the meeting in the rain.
It's 8:45 am, my coffee is almost gone, and my God is still good beyond what I need. He doesn't have to sustain me, but He does. He doesn't have to send people into my life to just do nice things, but He does. He doesn't have to let me have coffee, but He does.
Because of Him,
Missa
Saturday, July 5, 2014
Like a Child
Thinking about my camp experience, some stories make me smile more than others. Like when I was eating dinner one night and one of the other girl counselors came up and gave me a hug. My little 8 year old camper asked who that was and then said "wow! She's prettier than you are!"
The same week, I was having a friendly duel with patience. Up to that point of the summer, I had had 15 year olds who at least know the basics of cleaning...Not so with 8 year olds. One of the girls excitedly volunteered the first day to clean the toilet, and obviously I agreed. It is rare to find such passion in one so young....
The whole week, my cabin regularly failed cabin check. It. Was. Bad. I tried getting them up 20 minutes earlier, I showed them how to clean, I cleaned with them without actually doing all of the work for them...
Everyday, though, the girls left the cabin sure that they would win because of how beautiful it was. Saturday morning, I packed all of my little ducks (which is what I had called them all week) and sent them out the door onto their lovely bus. Then I began to really clean. The cabin wasn't destroyed, but it sure did need some work to get it up to passing for my cabin check the next day.
Think about us, as Christians, as 8 year olds serving God. We can try so hard, and we do the best that we can serving God, but our best work is so pathetic, its laughable. We can push ourselves harder and set aside more time to serve Him, go door knocking every Saturday, but ultimately, its no better. You can study up for serving God. I was reading a Jerry Bridges book and got the inspiration for this post. There are so many great books about how to serve God and do everything. Again, though, we're still just 8 year olds trying to clean a cabin.
I get it. You have to let God help you! That's how you succeed at the Christian life! So we work just as hard as we were working before and.... we still fail at cabin inspection.
Here's my point. Just like the cabin didn't pass until I cleaned it, our service for God won't pass until He does it. All of it. I know its not a perfect illustration, especially because God does use us to complete His perfect work, but He always uses us in such a way that, if we really looked at it, we'd realize that none of that was from our own work.
And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. - 2 Corinthians 12:9
Live dependant on God's grace and allow Him to work wonders.
Because of Him,
Missa
Missa
Sunday, April 27, 2014
Give it to Me
I was talking with God last night.
This past week, during chapel, I heard two illustrations about storms. In one story, the disciples' weak faith caused them to cry out and demand that Jesus Christ stop the storm. In the next story, the disciples were alone in the boat and Christ walked on the storm. This time, Peter asked for the ability to walk on the storm as well - and he did! Until he looked at what was making up the storm and he began to flounder. At this point, instead of calming the sea and letting the fisherman swim his way to the top, Christ reached out His hand and pulled Peter to the top of the waves. And they walked on the storm together.
Last night in prayer group, we were discussing what we had learned about God over the past week; either in our devotions or in chapel or perhaps through a song that had been stuck in our heads. I love the girls in my group so much. So many times, four or five of us have been learning the lesson, but different facets of it. While I was learning about waiting on God to calm storms and to dependently walk on storms, another girl was learning that our weaknesses are what causes us to turn to God. In other words, if we didn't have weaknesses, we would not be constantly calling on Him to help us.
My weaknesses make me completely and utterly unable to handle my storms. I've been trying to swim on my own, but that doesn't work. Then I turn to God (notice my order of operation) and demand that He stop the storm. I go back and forth between clinging to the stability of a frail, bobbing boat and throwing myself into a choppy sea trying to battle it out myself and drowning.
Sometimes when I look at my life, it feels like my trials define me. The pain of relationships broken or breaking, the stress of an insanely busy work/school schedule and an immense school bill, and the intense, internal struggle with sin that no one who looks at me could ever guess.
Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim
In the light of His glory and grace
I have a tendency when I'm talking with people to discuss only the happy things (like a good grade on a test or a funny thing a teacher said) or the acceptable complaints (like an unfair teacher or an EVIL test). To a degree, that is perfectly fine - not everyone I come in contact with needs to know my problems. There is no need to place that burden on people.
The problem comes when I am unwilling to give that burden to God.
Oh, I can pray about my burdens - like how much I want those relationships fixed, or asking for strength so that I can make it through the day. This is NOT wrong! But, at the same time, I don't want to make God help me carry these burdens - or even to let Him take them from me and actually carry them for me. As His child, I wanted to bring Him things that bring Him joy, like a crayon colored picture. But while these things bring joy and He likes them, He, as my Father, wants to help me when I'm sick or in pain.
Last night, I was talking with God, my Gentle, Loving Father, and all I wanted to do was to be able to give Him something that would give Him joy, but all I could find was nasty, broken pain.
Give it to Me.
Wait, what?!
Cast your cares on Me, because I care for you.
But I want to give you something good - to be a profitable and contributing member of this family.
Do you think that you can carry My burden for you while being tied under your own?
But I don't want You to have to carry something for me when I can't give anything to You! That's not fair!
What part of "God of the Universe Who gives strength because He is strength" don't you understand? Your burden is heavy and you are weary. I will give you rest, but only if you give it to Me. Then, I can give you My burden, which is easy and light.
Ok, so if I give You my burden, will the problems go away?
In time and in different degrees.
Then what's the point? I want it to be fixed now! I think I can do it myself if I can just work harder!
I want you to look at Me, and not the burden, not the storm, not yourself. I want you to hold My hand as I walk with you on top of the storm.
I'm afraid - what if I start to drown again? What if I start to carry my burden again?
Then just give it back to Me. In fact, just start making a habit of giving it back to Me every morning and every evening. Look at Me, and I will keep you safe.
No, I didn't actually hear God speaking to me, but last night this was going on in my heart. Have you ever had a really good conversation with your best friend that lasted for hours and you just felt so relieved afterwards? I know that what I'm struggling with may or may not ever go away, but I also know Who is strong enough to carry me. Not take up the slack, but completely and totally carry. He is the God who walks on storms.
Because of Him,
Missa
This past week, during chapel, I heard two illustrations about storms. In one story, the disciples' weak faith caused them to cry out and demand that Jesus Christ stop the storm. In the next story, the disciples were alone in the boat and Christ walked on the storm. This time, Peter asked for the ability to walk on the storm as well - and he did! Until he looked at what was making up the storm and he began to flounder. At this point, instead of calming the sea and letting the fisherman swim his way to the top, Christ reached out His hand and pulled Peter to the top of the waves. And they walked on the storm together.
Last night in prayer group, we were discussing what we had learned about God over the past week; either in our devotions or in chapel or perhaps through a song that had been stuck in our heads. I love the girls in my group so much. So many times, four or five of us have been learning the lesson, but different facets of it. While I was learning about waiting on God to calm storms and to dependently walk on storms, another girl was learning that our weaknesses are what causes us to turn to God. In other words, if we didn't have weaknesses, we would not be constantly calling on Him to help us.
My weaknesses make me completely and utterly unable to handle my storms. I've been trying to swim on my own, but that doesn't work. Then I turn to God (notice my order of operation) and demand that He stop the storm. I go back and forth between clinging to the stability of a frail, bobbing boat and throwing myself into a choppy sea trying to battle it out myself and drowning.
Sometimes when I look at my life, it feels like my trials define me. The pain of relationships broken or breaking, the stress of an insanely busy work/school schedule and an immense school bill, and the intense, internal struggle with sin that no one who looks at me could ever guess.
Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim
In the light of His glory and grace
I have a tendency when I'm talking with people to discuss only the happy things (like a good grade on a test or a funny thing a teacher said) or the acceptable complaints (like an unfair teacher or an EVIL test). To a degree, that is perfectly fine - not everyone I come in contact with needs to know my problems. There is no need to place that burden on people.
The problem comes when I am unwilling to give that burden to God.
Oh, I can pray about my burdens - like how much I want those relationships fixed, or asking for strength so that I can make it through the day. This is NOT wrong! But, at the same time, I don't want to make God help me carry these burdens - or even to let Him take them from me and actually carry them for me. As His child, I wanted to bring Him things that bring Him joy, like a crayon colored picture. But while these things bring joy and He likes them, He, as my Father, wants to help me when I'm sick or in pain.
Last night, I was talking with God, my Gentle, Loving Father, and all I wanted to do was to be able to give Him something that would give Him joy, but all I could find was nasty, broken pain.
Give it to Me.
Wait, what?!
Cast your cares on Me, because I care for you.
But I want to give you something good - to be a profitable and contributing member of this family.
Do you think that you can carry My burden for you while being tied under your own?
But I don't want You to have to carry something for me when I can't give anything to You! That's not fair!
What part of "God of the Universe Who gives strength because He is strength" don't you understand? Your burden is heavy and you are weary. I will give you rest, but only if you give it to Me. Then, I can give you My burden, which is easy and light.
Ok, so if I give You my burden, will the problems go away?
In time and in different degrees.
Then what's the point? I want it to be fixed now! I think I can do it myself if I can just work harder!
I want you to look at Me, and not the burden, not the storm, not yourself. I want you to hold My hand as I walk with you on top of the storm.
I'm afraid - what if I start to drown again? What if I start to carry my burden again?
Then just give it back to Me. In fact, just start making a habit of giving it back to Me every morning and every evening. Look at Me, and I will keep you safe.
No, I didn't actually hear God speaking to me, but last night this was going on in my heart. Have you ever had a really good conversation with your best friend that lasted for hours and you just felt so relieved afterwards? I know that what I'm struggling with may or may not ever go away, but I also know Who is strong enough to carry me. Not take up the slack, but completely and totally carry. He is the God who walks on storms.
Because of Him,
Missa
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